I am trying three new techniques for writing introductions. My original introduction involved the history of chocolate. The first technique that I will use is the technique of when you start with a striking fact. This technique is effective because people are drawn in by interesting things that they did not previously know. I want to try writing with this technique because there are a lot of interesting facts about chocolate that can be used.
The Swiss eat the most chocolate in the world with the average person consuming twenty-two pounds of it every year. In the U.S. the average person consumes about eleven pounds per year. That is a lot of chocolate. Chocolate can be good for you if eaten in moderation. Dark chocolate contains flavonoids that help reduce the risk of heart disease. With all of the chocolate that the world consumes I wanted to taste some of the more popular brands to determine which was the best.
The second technique that I used was to start the introduction off with a good question. In this technique in the introduction a question is posed that will make the reader think about the topic. The question should be an open-ended question. I wanted to try this technique because if the question is a truly engaging question it can pull the reader into read the rest of the essay.
People all over the world rave about how good chocolate is. It is used in countless items and dishes, or simply enjoyed in its original form. What is it about chocolate that is so appealing? Chocolate is a food made from grounded roasted cacao beans. In that description chocolate does not seem appealing however it is. I decided to taste all of the different chocolates that people eat in a bar form.
The third and final technique that I used to write an introduction was that where you start off with a quote about the topic. This will interest the reader and make them want to find out what the quote is about. The quote should lead the reader into the rest of the essay. I wanted to use this technique because I have never included a quote in my introduction and wanted to try to use one.
“Strength is the capacity to break a chocolate bar into four pieces with your bare hands and then eat just one of the pieces.” by Samantha Reed. Chocolate is almost addicting and you can rarely eat only a little chocolate. It is a sweet enjoyed by many around the world with many different types to try. I conducted an experiment to determine which type of chocolate is the best.
I like your quote introduction, the quote catches the eye, adn is interesting. It talks about chocolate and how good it is, and this ties into your paper well. I though the quote you found was perfect for your paper.
ReplyDeleteI like your first introduction the best. It gives the reader a lot of information without being to boring, but you were also able to include that you personally tried all the chocolates. I especially like the piece about the health benefits because that interests a lot of readers.
ReplyDeleteThe question in the second one caught my eye and helped draw me in. I feel like if you blended the second and the third somehow it would make for the best possible combination. the quote would add the strength necessary to beef up the second intro.
ReplyDeleteI especially loved the first introduction because it informs the reader about shocking facts. Chocoholics would love to hear that dark chocolate helps fight off heart disease! I also like how the last sentence ties into the purpose of this piece of writing.
ReplyDeleteHi Allie,
ReplyDeleteI love your reflections here. They all blend very smoothly and clearly introduce what you were trying to do for each one. This is exactly the type of explanation I was hoping for. Great work!
Personally, I think that all three of these are stronger than your original. I like each of them for different reasons. Just remember if you use the quote introduction be sure to let the reader know who said the quote, you might say something like:
According to Joe Schmoe, "insert quote here."
You want to somehow introduce the quote with some of your own words rather than to just plop it in with quotation marks around it. Another options might be:
While many brilliant observations about chocolate have been made, there is none truer than Joe Schmoe's observation, "insert quote here."
Get the idea? I hope this helps.
Ms. Basko
I really liked the first introduction. The generally unknown statistics that you gave made the essay seem really interesting
ReplyDelete